


The Solstice Ghost

by NeasieB



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Christmas!, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:06:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28029009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeasieB/pseuds/NeasieB
Summary: Christmas brings an unexpected visitor to Button House. And Julian accepts a bet with Thomas.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	The Solstice Ghost

Christmas was approaching Button House and there was a sense of excited anticipation in the air. Mike and Alison had promised themselves a break over Christmas and to not do any wedding planning, DIY, or anything much. It would be their first proper time off for months and they were looking forward to it very much. “I just want to eat nice food and watch terrible telly,” said Mike. “Oh yes, that sounds amazing,” agreed Alison. 

The ghosts were also excited, although they couldn't agree what constituted a “proper” Christmas. Fanny recalled the grand dinners and taking worthy presents to the “deserving poor” of the village. Kitty and Thomas remembered parties, music, and games. Humphrey told them that in his day Christmas didn't start until Christmas Day and then continued for twelve whole days. For Pat it was all about family get-togethers, and he was a little sad that he couldn't see Carol, Daley, and his little grandson. Mary thought it was all about church going and the relief when the Advent fast was over. Julian leered and started to tell unsuitable details about what he used to get up to at constituency Christmas parties. The Captain said very little and looked thoughtful. Robin just said “Daylight time start get longer”. 

There was a division between the ghosts over decorations and whether there should be a Christmas tree or a Yule log. Alison, confused, initially bought a chocolate Yule log from the supermarket, but when Humphrey explained that that wasn't what was meant, she sent Mike out into the grounds to find a suitable log to put on the fire. There was, of course, a Christmas tree as well - an artificial one, much to Fanny's disgust. Everyone was entranced by the twinkling multicoloured fairy lights. Robin was under strict instructions not to “do his thing” to them, but more than once Alison had come into the living room to find the lights out and Robin trying to look innocent.

Mike and Alison had a chocolate advent calendar in the kitchen and took turns to open the door each day and eat the chocolate. The ghosts couldn't eat, so to ensure that they didn't feel left out, Alison had bought an advent calendar consisting of 24 little numbered drawers. She'd filled it with cheap sparkly Christmas decorations, and each day the ghost whose turn it was supervised the opening of the drawer and the placing of the decoration on the second Christmas tree Alison had put in the ghosts' common room. It was surprisingly popular. Even Julian, who affected to disdain the whole thing, had been caught peeking by Alison and knew that drawer 24 was a star for the top of the tree. “It's our secret,” Alison warned him. 

***  
Five days before Christmas Alison sat everyone down in front of the TV and made them watch 'The Muppet Christmas Carol'. “It's not Christmas without it” she said, “and it's the best Christmas film ever made.”

“Too right”, said Mike settling down on the sofa with box of mince pies, having first got the all-clear from Alison as to where he could sit. 

Everyone enjoyed the film, although Mary was concerned that a talking frog and pig must be witchcraft and didn't think it was wise to allow them to marry lest their offspring be powerful demons.

“I didn't think Charles Dickens looked like that,” said Fanny at the end. 

“For some reason I always imagined him looking a bit like Thomas, especially around the eyes,” said Pat. 

Julian sniffed. “I always think 'A Christmas Carol' has such a sad ending”. Alison stared at him. “That successful businessman turned into a lefty do-gooder by so-called ghosts.”

“Well I thought it was lovely,” sighed Kitty happily. 

Thomas looked at Julian. “I'll wager you cannot do pleasant things for others like Ebenezer Scrooge, even for a short period.”

Julian stood up, outraged. “Of course I can! It's just that I don't want to.”

Thomas gave a self-satisfied smile.

“I'll show you” said Julian. “Tenner says I can do something nice for someone every day in the run up to Christmas. You'll see”.

***

The weather was unseasonably mild and wet. “I don't think we'll be having a white Christmas” sighed Pat, looking out of the window. 

“Well, there are four days to go yet,” replied the Captain. “Things could change. Anyway, time for another run”. 

“I'll come with you” said Julian. “Keep you company and all that”. 

The Captain looked hard at him. “This is about that wager isn't it? Well hurry along then if you must, chop chop”.

As usual, Alison stood waiting with her stopwatch to time the run. And waited. And waited. 

Finally the Captain ran through the door, followed by a gasping Julian.

“Er, I hate to tell you this,” said Alison “Four minutes thirty two”.

“What?!” said the Captain. “That's more than 2 minutes slower than my usual time. This is what comes of hanging back to let this, this... civvy... keep up with me”.

“Well,” gasped Julian “I never said I was a runner.”

Alison frowned. “How can you even get out of breath anyway?”

There was a crash in a distant room, followed by a yelp from Mike. “Aly! I might have fallen off the stepladder while putting up some more decorations”.

***  
Everyone was settling down in the living room for Film Night. It was Kitty's turn to choose and she had chosen 'Love Actually' again. “It's so Christmassy!” she said, although everyone knew that she'd chosen it in August too. And February. 

“Your dress looks nice today, Kitty,” said Julian, remembering the wager.

Kitty's bottom lip wobbled ominously. “If you think it looks nice now, that must mean you didn't think it looked nice on all the other days!” 

“Pat's a bit late” said Alison hastily intervening. “That's not like him. Do you think we should wait or just watch it?” 

As if on cue, Pat ran through the wall, looking worried. “There's something in the dining room” he said. 

“What sort of thing?” asked Alison anxiously. “Mike, Pat's saying there's something in the dining room. You don't think it's mice again, do you?”

“No, no” said Pat. “It's a bit strange really. If I was alive I'd say it looked like a ghost”.

The older ghosts started to mutter and shift in their seats a little. 

“It can't be, can it?” said Thomas, looking depressed.

“I hopes not,” said Mary gloomily.

“I reckon he is about due,” added Humphrey.

“Who's due?” asked Alison. 

“Cormag” said the Captain. “He appears once every 70 years. I've only met him once, but believe me that was enough”. 

“Man killed make sun come back,” said Robin.

“What he means,” said the Captain, "is that Cormag was ritually sacrificed at the winter solstice to make the days grow longer again.”

“Here? “Alison gasped. “My God! When was this?”

Robin frowned, thinking. “After me, before village, before house” he said finally. 

“The, er, unfortunate event took place on the site of the Moonah Ston, which as you know is where the dining table is now,” said the Captain. 

“He appears every 70 years, hangs around the site of his death, and ruins Christmas for the rest of us,” added Humphrey.

“But if he's a ghost, why couldn't I see him properly?” asked Pat, who hadn't been dead long enough to have met Cormag before. 

“He takes a while to appear properly,” said Kitty. “He's hazy for a day or two, then becomes clear to us. He's very gloomy but I think he just needs a hug.” 

“Where does he go the rest of the time?”

“Presumably where those souls go who are fortunate enough not to stay confined to this earthly plain as we are,” said Thomas. “I just wish he'd stay there”.

“How are we supposed to have Christmas dinner if there's a sacrificed man on the dining table?” asked Alison.

Mike looked up from a suddenly-empty packet of mini-stollen. “This is a ghost thing, right? I can't even begin to imagine the half of this conversation that I can't hear”.

***  
Alison decided to go into the dining room to see Cormag for herself. He had obviously reached the clear stage of his manifestation as he appeared as solid to her as any of the ghosts did. He was dressed in a long brown woolen tunic, leggings, and a big houndstooth-pattern cloak fastened with a round pin. He had a nasty-looking wound in his chest, a ligature tight around his neck, and the back of his head looked as if it had been caved in with a blunt object. Alison, despite being accustomed to the fatal injuries displayed by some of the Button House ghosts, was unable to look. He reminded her of the Iron Age man found preserved in a peat bog that she had seen on a school trip to the British Museum. He was standing through the middle of the dining table and just stood still, wailing. Given the nature of his death, Alison considered that wailing was entirely reasonable, but she hoped he wasn't going to keep it up for the whole of his visit. From what Humphrey had said, it seemed likely. She waved at him and said “Hello” in a hopeful tone, but Cormag just ignored her and carried on wailing. After trying to get his attention for 10 minutes, Alison gave up.

“We really can't have Christmas dinner in there” she told Mike later. “It's alright for you but it would put me right off”. 

She was interrrupted by a shriek from the living room. She rushed in to find Mary shaking in a corner and Julian looking studiedly unconcerned. 

“What have you done to Mary?”

“I just put a film on for her as part of the bet. I thought she might like to see 'The Wizard of Oz'”.

Alison went over and pressed stop on the laptop where the Munchkins were singing 'Ding Dong the Witch is Dead'.

***  
Because they had been busy in September, Mike and Alison had failed to secure a supermarket delivery slot for Christmas week and so had to go and do the food shop in the nearest town. When they got back, Fanny appeared to supervise the unpacking. 

“Where is your goose?” she said, outraged. “Where is your plum pudding, your Brussels sprouts, the cloves for your bread sauce? You can't have Christmas without the proper Christmas food, you heathens.”

“We're having turkey, - well one of those pre-stuffed turkey crown things,” replied Alison. She indicated a range of frozen and chilled food boxes. “Look, it's all here. We don't like cooking and we're not very good at it anyway, so if we buy it all ready-made all we have to do is put it in the oven. It's much nicer than we could make ourselves, and much less effort. Even the sprouts are all done. They've got bacon in so they don't even taste like sprouts”.

“Disgraceful,” huffed Fanny. “Such a thing would never have been acceptable in my day”.

“Yes,” said Alison. “But you had a cook, and a squadron of kitchen maids, and goodness knows what, didn't you? Me and Mike have... me and Mike. We don't want to spend all Christmas taking giblets out of a turkey or whatever it is you have to do to it”.

Fanny sniffed. As she turned to go she nearly collided with Julian who was just coming into the kitchen.

“You're looking very elegant today, Lady Button,” he said.

Fanny fixed him with a stare. “I know what you're doing. You don't fool me,” she said and swept out.

***

The run up to Christmas continued. No one went in the dining room because they could hear Cormag wailing to himself. Alison and Mike only used it on special occasions anyway, and usually ate their meals in the kitchen or off trays on their laps in front of the TV, much to Fanny's disgust.

One afternoon Alison found Pat looking curiously at the family-sized tub of Celebrations chocolates open on the table. “I'd offer you one but...” she said. 

“Have chocolate bars really got so small since I died?” he asked. “In my day a Milky Way used to be at least an ounce, but these are only a mouthful”.

Alison laughed. “You can still get the normal sized bars. These are just little mini versions. Everyone likes them because there's always at least one of their favourites in there. The Maltesers ones are the best, but Mike likes them too so I usually let him eat most of them”. 

“Carol used to like Black Magic,” said Pat. “Perhaps best not to mention that to Mary, eh?”

***

“Alison!” called Julian the day before Christmas Eve. “I've been talking to Cormag. You know, as part of this silly Christmas being nice thing. It turns out no one has ever talked to him before. They just leave him in the dining room and ignore him until he goes away. He knows you went in, but assumed you couldn't see him because living people can't. Anyway, he has something he's been trying to tell us.”

At Julian's direction, Alison, Mike, and all the ghosts trooped silently in the rain across the grounds. “Isn't Cormag coming?” asked Alison. “He can't leave the house” said Julian. “It's there or limbo for him, he can't go anywhere else”. They found the old tree stump near the boundary. It was decaying and overgrown with ivy, and hardly noticeable. 

“Julian says it's here,” Alison said to Mike. “I've got a trowel” said Mike. “Alison smiled. “That's surprisingly well-organised for you” she quipped. “Anyway, don't dig, just sort of scrape away carefully. He says it's in a cow bone”.

“Oh,” said Mike. “They're all weird, aren't they?” Nevertheless he began to scrape carefully in the earth at the foot of the tree stump. Eventually the trowel hit something hard. He carefully unearthed it and found a very old-looking hollow bone. At first it looked as if it was just filled with soil, but Mike scraped away gently at it and hit something metal. He continued to loosen the soil, then tipped the bone up. Some ancient-looking coins, a ring, and what looked like a squashed bangle big enough to fit round someone's neck fell out. Mike rubbed the bangle and the unmistakable untarnished gleam of gold shone out. 

“That's what he wanted to tell us” said Julian. “It's his hoard. Not a very big hoard, but his life savings none the less. He says it's no use to him now and would like you to have it as the current custodians of the land he lived on”.

“Wow” said Alison, looking at the little collection. “This could be treasure. I mean proper treasure trove. We'll have to report it when everything reopens after Christmas”.

“Might we get some money for it?” asked Mike. “Enough to do the gutters?”

“Oh, wouldn't that be nice?” said Alison. “We might do, I suppose. I'd better go back in and thank Cormag”.

She turned to Julian “Thanks Julian. If you hadn't been trying to win that silly bet with Thomas we'd never have known about this”.

***  
It was Christmas Eve. Alison put the star on top of the ghosts' Christmas tree, supervised by Kitty who was almost hysterical with excitement. The ghosts all settled down to watch a Christmas music playlist Alison had found on YouTube, and bicker about what was the best Christmas song. 

“'Last Christmas' has an appealing wistful quality,” said the Captain.

“I likes 'Ring Out Solstice Bells',” said Mary, “Even if the man as sings it looks likes he's been bitten by a mad dog”. 

“Nonsense. It can only be 'Merry X-mas Everybody' by Slade,” said Thomas, pronouncing the X separately. “The evocative lyrics, the inherent optimism of the chorus...”

“I got you a present, Alison!” said Mike. “I couldn't wait to give it to you. Look – a bumper-sized pack of patio cleaner so you can get all the green slime and gunge off the terrace.”

“Great. Thanks” replied Alison. “Just what I wanted. Actually, it really was what I wanted. We need to get the terrace nice for the weddings”.

Mike smiled. “I know, but I did get you something else as well that you can open tomorrow”. 

Cormag had stopped wailing after his hoard had been found. Alison had invited him to stay for Christmas but he had smiled, bowed, and faded away. The house suddenly seemed very quiet without him. 

“He was nice once you got talking to him,” said Alison. “It's a bit sad I won't see him again.”

“He'll be back in 70 years” said Pat.

“Yes, but I won't see him. In 70 years I'll probably be d-”

Pat gave her his sweetest smile. “Exactly” he said.

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you with more self-restraint around chocolate than me, Black Magic is a type of box of chocolates, popular in Pat's lifetime and still available today. The song Mary likes is by Jethro Tull. If you want to decide for yourself whether the man who sings it looks like he's been bitten by a mad dog, watch the 1976 version on YouTube.


End file.
